Ever had a friend that you loved that was super smart? So smart that when you spoke to them you could only understand half of what they are saying? The kind of friend who is super nice, and super kind, but that you still hesitate to hang out with them because you feel like a moran when you do? That is how I feel about dressage. I like it in theory, but in practice I just can’t get it. It isn’t like I haven’t tried. I have been trying for years now and at times I feel like I am getting better, but most of the time I am confident that I just suck.
I used to blame it on the fact I am always training or retraining horses. Or the fact that my finances are limited so I don’t get to pay for training or lessons like some people. I could keep going with the excuses, but honestly, I am starting to think that it is me. That I just suck at dressage and that I will always just suck at dressage.
I used to love how challenging dressage was for me, the fact that it requires the opposite of all my skills. Now…I am just wondering why I would want to spend time and energy on something that I just cannot be successful in. I am sure at least part of this is because I am not riding. Taking those dressage lessons last month and having my butt kicked so thoroughly…I dunno.
I keep saying I am going to start taking lessons again, but when I do and I think about how hard dressage is I just wonder why bother. Dressage, when done well, is stunningly beautiful. It can literally make me cry it is so amazing. The real question is do I want to keep trying? If I don’t, what else do I want to try?