I had spoken to Lucky’s Owner last week, but still needed more time for reality to set in. Tonight when I went to the barn, she was still less sound than the last vet visit. I couldn’t keep running away from the issue, hoping for miracles. It hit my like a ton of bricks on my drive home. I just can’t wait around for 6 months and hope she gets better. I lease a horse to ride, and I am not riding at all at the moment. Lucky’s Owner was understanding and gracious as usual, and not surprised at all that I would be ending my lease. I needed to make it official though. I just couldn’t keep going to the barn hoping she would be better, only get upset when she wasn’t. I need to let her go. If this is the end of my riding career so be it. It is not like I am riding right now anyway.
I know that rationally this was the only logical thing to do. I am a total mess about it right now though. If I had a million dollars I would keep the hope alive, but with limited time and resources it is just too much of a risk. I shouldn’t be upset. I had two and half great years with her and she is staying with her owner at the farm so I don’t have to worry about her. I just hate that it turned out like this. I am sure I will feel better about all this eventually, but right now I am not a very happy camper.
A Horse and a Half 
You’re doing the right thing. Not just for you but for Lucky too. She’s earned her retirement. You’ll find something else to ride.
Well done for making it official and don’t be hard on yourself – it’s OK to be upset. We put our dreams into our horse relationships and when reality doesn’t let us keep those dreams it’s a hard fall to earth.
It was a hard choice, but I think it was the right one *hugs*
Sometimes it’s just really hard to let go…but it sounds like Lucky is ready for retirement.
I don’t think there is such a thing as making an easy choice about a horse. There just isn’t. You’ll be okay. It’s like losing someone special in your life – you mourn and grieve but in the end, life goes on if a bit differently.