Back to just “A Horse”

I had spoken to Lucky’s Owner last week, but still needed more time for reality to set in. Tonight when I went to the barn, she was still less sound than the last vet visit. I couldn’t keep running away from the issue, hoping for miracles. It hit my like a ton of bricks on my drive home. I just can’t wait around for 6 months and hope she gets better. I lease a horse to ride, and I am not riding at all at the moment. Lucky’s Owner was understanding and gracious as usual, and not surprised at all that I would be ending my lease. I needed to make it official though. I just couldn’t keep going to the barn hoping she would be better, only get upset when she wasn’t. I need to let her go. If this is the end of my riding career so be it. It is not like I am riding right now anyway.

I know that rationally this was the only logical thing to do. I am a total mess about it right now though. If I had a million dollars I would keep the hope alive, but with limited time and resources it is just too much of a risk. I shouldn’t be upset. I had two and  half great years with her and she is staying with her owner at the farm so I don’t have to worry about her. I just hate that it turned out like this. I am sure I will feel better about all this eventually, but right now I am not a very happy camper.

5 thoughts on “Back to just “A Horse”

  1. Well done for making it official and don’t be hard on yourself – it’s OK to be upset. We put our dreams into our horse relationships and when reality doesn’t let us keep those dreams it’s a hard fall to earth.

  2. I don’t think there is such a thing as making an easy choice about a horse. There just isn’t. You’ll be okay. It’s like losing someone special in your life – you mourn and grieve but in the end, life goes on if a bit differently.

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