Lucky and I had been fighting for 15 minutes about loading. I was concerned because I was alone on the farm. I couldn’t even ask someone to help me. Lucky had to self load on that trailer or we were not going anywhere. I would consider myself a pretty patient person, but Lucky was really pushing it. I was starting to get frustrated. I kept reminding myself to breath and just keep expecting the best. After 25 minutes of trying to get her on I was ready to pull my hair out. I had no choice but to keep trying so we just kept at it. When she would stop I would tap her behind the leg (either front or hind depending on how far back she stopped). She would then rear or fly backwards, I would take a breath, circle her and try again.
After almost 30 minutes Lucky just walked on. Seriously! I have no idea what changed, but suddenly she just walked on. I quickly put up the butt bar up and stepped back. I looked at my watch, it was 5:00. I could still show. I was completely and utterly rattled at that point in the night though. Showing must be fun for Lucky, but how could I make it fun when I was ready to cry. I took 3 deep breaths and put up the ramp while I walked to the cab trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I got in the passengers side, closed the door, and promptly started crying.
It wasn’t so much the I was crying about the fact that she wouldn’t get on, rather, I was upset that I was alone. I want a barn to show with. I don’t want to have to worry about this sort of thing. I want to put on my matching barn polo and sit at the barn having a cocktail as some groom loads my horse. Okay, not really, but at that moment that is what I was feeling. Don’t get me wrong, it is great that I can show on my own, but at that moment I needed support. I cried for a solid 5 minutes before I looked down at myself still in my work clothes. Lucky was screaming in the trailer. Was I going to give up so easily? Was I going to let a little blip of her not getting on the trailer ruin my night? I have more perseverance than any other horse person I know. Was I really going to give up now after everything I have been through? Heck no!
As I looked at my Lucky freaking out in the back I opened the door and told her to chill. She was going to a horse show and were going to have fun! She chose to ignore me. I took my show clothes and got myself ready. I promised myself that by the time I walked to the truck again I would have let go of the trailer loading about be totally focused on the show. I was true to my word and by the time we made the three minute drive to the show (and for the record I had thought about just riding her there, but I felt like that would be sending her a bad message) I was okay.