So I was dragging my feet about my lesson on Saturday. I was tired and it just seemed like a total pain in the butt to drive the hour to go ride. I made myself do it though because I know that I really do need to ride (or else I get crabby). The SchoolMaster was clearly tired too…you should have seen the two of us dragging out feet on the way to the indoor. My trainer was laughing when I stopped him at the mounting block and we both yawned at exactly the same time!
I got on and I smiled. I really did figure out what my problem was a few weeks ago. There was no racing thoughts, no negative self-fulfilling prophecy’s, none of that extra stuff which made me feel so miserable. I might not have been my normal self excitable self, but I was at least outside of my own head. Yay! Normally my trot work on the SchoolMaster sucks and my canter is great. For some reason last weekend our trot was great, but the canter was totally icky! My trainer seemed impressed that I was riding instead of thinking. She even called out that I was almost my normal self attitude wise. I was relaxed while I was riding and I was even a teeny tiny bit confident. Go figure.
When a nice upper level rider came in to the ring the SchoolMaster and I were working on trot extensions and for a moment I felt like my old self because I actually wanted to show off. It was a nice feeling, even if it was only fleeting. My trainer capitalized on my brief “go big or go home” attitude and said that my new mantra should be “Look at me. I have arrived”. We did some of the trot work from the first level tests and then it was time to canter.
Normally walk canter walk ttansitions are one of my strong suits. Not this lesson though. It was a total struggle to get him forward and jumping. Not helped along was the fact was that out of no where I could feel something dripping from my nose. I hadn’t hit my horse or done anything so not wanting to give up I pushed though it assuming that I had some serious snot action going on because it was chilly out. It was only when I did the classy move of wiping my nose with my sleeve that I realized I has a pretty serious bloody nose. I took a walk break and walked over to the side of the indoor to grab some tissues. After 5 minutes walking around I still had not stopped the bleeding so consensus was to just call it a day.
I was a little bummed that I did not get everything worked out in the canter the way I wanted to, but after seeing the carnage (there was blood splattered on my saddle pad, saddle, shirt, etc.) I know I made the right decision. This lesson did not feel like a big break through, and yet I think it might have been. It literally took a lot of blood to get my out of the saddle. I feel like that is saying something. I did pick up a quarter lease on the SchoolMaster for March so my first solo ride in a long time is going to be next Sunday. If things went like they went in my lesson last weekend I think that I will be back to my normal self in no time. I even starting looking at dressage tests again. 🙂