I think that I have been a very, very good boy this year and so I think I need to be rewarded. Last year for Christmas all I got was a massage and some stupid cookies. It was a good start, but I clearly deserve much more. Especially since I hardly caused any trouble at all this year. There were tons of times I could have let myself or the boys loose, but I didn’t. I didn’t even hurt the black and white Appy that badly when he came in to MY field. These good deeds should be rewarded with the following items…
1) Pears (the yummy brown ones, not those icky green things)
2) A massage. I love getting my achy muscles worked on. It feels so good. In fact Santa, I think I need to get a weekly massage this year. It will help me to stay focused on being good.
3) My special Pear flavored treats that the Young Rider makes just for me. They are so yummy that they are almost as good as pears themselves. I hate that she went away to school because now I don’t get them as much. I think I deserve at least 1,000 of these yummy nibbles.
4) A shed for my field. I HATE bugs. Sure I have some trees to hide under, but I really think that I could use a nice 20×20 turnout shed so that when the bugs are around I can run from the gate of my field in to the shed and hide from those evil little blood suckers all night. I know it is December, so that means you have plenty of time to work your magic. Did I mention I HATE bugs?
5) A mini horse, donkey or goat. I am getting very bored with bullying the two old geldings in the field next to mine. Sure they can be fun, but I can’t reach all the way over to really teach them a lesson. What I really want Santa is something small that I can pick on and mean to 24/7. I wouldn’t really hurt it I swear, I am sure that my little friend will learn to love it when I flip them over. It would keep me entertained all day and it would be the bestest present ever.
6) I need you to change my color to a nice Chestnut color. I try so hard all the time to turn brown but my mean Mom always comes out and makes me gray again. I HATE BEING GRAY. I need a little Christmas magic Santa to turn a nice brown so I can be just like Secretariat.
7) Speaking of my Mom Santa I need you to have her around more. Sure she comes and tells me that I am handsome an hour a day, but really Santa that is just not enough. If you can’t make my Mommy see me more I think that you need to find me a new one who only ohhs and ahhs at my greatness all day everyday. I was made to be admired and it is just not happening nearly enough so you really need to work on that for me Santa.
8) I need you to make me left front leg all normal. I love that I don’t need any icky boots on anymore for turnout, but now I have to be careful. I HATE being careful. It would really be much easier if you just made me normal so I could run and run all day like I want to.
9) So Santa I was thinking that you can scratch off number 7 and instead just get me a personal assistant. That is a much more reasonable request. I know my Mom put an ad out for one this summer, but for some reason no one wanted the job. Maybe you could give me an elf? I mean, you have so many so what is one less to you right? I swear I wouldn’t work them too hard, just the occasional butt scratch and fly killing. Oh, and they should always have some nice fresh carrots with them just in case I need a snack. See how easy that would be? I will love my new elf and call him Oliver…Thank you ahead of time Santa.
10) Since I don’t want to be greedy Santa this will be my last request for this year. I want a clone of myself. What could be better for me than getting a second me? I could look at my adorable self all day long, and how great would it be to play with someone who really knows how to play like I do? I can honestly not think of a better gift than the gift of me.