So last time when I lost my nerve I would think about it all the time. I would dread going to the barn. I would have to phyc myself up for it. Today I am looking forward to going to the barn. How weird is that?!?!?! Maybe I didn’t loose my nerve again? Yesterday I was upset for a bunch of different reasons. Today I seem…well…fine. That is so not normal for me! We will see how I am once I actually get to the barn. But for right now I am definatly okay. I am sore though. Very sore. And if I am sore Phoenix is probably dying! Just getting out of bed this morning was painful. The only good thing to come out of this whole thing is that I think I figured out what I am scared of when Phoenix pulls that shit. I am scared he is going to fall on me. He is so uncoordinated and has so many issues with his hind end that I feel like he is just going to fall over and take me down with him. Maybe knowing that is what is helping me so much? My game plan is still to just go and give him a light ride, assuming I feel comfortable doing it. If not he will get a light lunging. He really has turned into the perfect little lunger! I am feeling a lot better today already. I will let you all know how it goes.