At what point is it too much?

So yesterday at the barn I got two surprises, one was a valentine card for Gen with carrots from his secret admirer (I am guessing the barn owner :P) and a letter for me. The letter was a reminder to please follow the rules and also a note that there was a possibility of barn improvements, which would mean an increase in board. It was up to a boarder vote. I, obviously, voted no. I cannot afford an increase in Gen’s board right now. I just can’t. How can I justify an extra $50 a month on my pasture pet? Even if it is only temporary, at what point do I have to face the reality that something has to give? I feel like horses have just become this big giant money pit to me and I can’t seem to dig my way out.

I am still living like a pauper to pay off my saddle and the bills just keep coming in. The boys just got their spring shots and Phoenix also got his teeth done. That does not happen for free. Plus I am feeling overwhelmed at just how much more I am going to be paying to show this year. The USEF really does have a trust going, you can pay to join them or pay a penalty because you are not a member. I don’t even know how much I have spent on dressage clubs and memberships so for this year.

I know that I am stating the obvious, but horses are EXPENSIVE and I am about ready to break! I average about $1,200 a month between board, shoes, vet care and lessons. Showing and tack store trips, well, I cannot even bare to add those amounts into that other number. The reality is that I spend way too much on horses. I can afford it right now, but at what price? I feel like I am giving up so much to be a part of a sport that rewards money over heart. I want to live my dreams and have the show year of a life time this year but everywhere I turn I am just pouring more and more money into the boys. I am so freaking sick of spaghetti. I am so upset that I cannot even afford to go to a movie. I am going into the city today and I literally almost cried when I went to take money out for the train ticket. I am so mad that…wait a second.

I just realized something. I have not ridden a horse in 3 weeks. For those of you who do not know me, I go crazy when I don’t ride for a while. Usually the crazy hits at about 3 weeks. I could laugh right now. This whiney, bitchy post is not so much about money. It is about riding. I miss riding. I almost went back to delete this whole post but I left it so you all can see the crazy. I lose myself, or at least my normal thought process, when I don’t ride for a while. When you are physically and mentally used to riding 4+ days a week for years it becomes a part of you. To not do it, well, clearly I go a little loco! So I apologize for this post, but I am using it as a PSA. If it has been a while since you got on a horse and you find that you are not acting like yourself, find a way to ride! I am going to call my trainer today to set up a lesson for next weekend. Clearly, I ride because I NEED to!