2009 – A look back

2009 was a very strange year for me. I lost Lexington in the last weeks of 2008 so I was not even sure I would ride much in 2009. Then Phoenix came along and with some prodding by friends I started to lease him January 5^th, 2009. At first I thought I would get out at upper training level last year and get all my bronze medals. The more I rode him the more I found out how little training he had at that point. When I first started leasing him you could still count the number of days he had under saddle. I was not aware of how green he was when I started leasing him, and it took me until about March to accept the fact that Phoenix hardly knew anything.

Once I made peace with the fact that the 4 year old horse was untrained I dropped my goals way down. It was a hard move for me because I wanted my bronze medals so badly (still do) but it was the right thing to do. I changed my goal to getting Phoenix out and about so that we could do whatever we wanted for the 2010 show and not have to worry about baby moments. We still had some at the shows, but Phoenix was getting better and better about things the more we went out.

I have had a lot of ups and downs this year. One of the most important things that happened this year was Gennyral’s great escape. As scary as it was to have my horse run away from home, it showed me that my horse is okay. That I don’t need to live in fear that every step is going to be his last. Yes, his leg swelled up, but he ran almost 2 miles on pavement, most horses would have a reaction to that. As scary as it was to think of my horse getting hit by a car, knowing that he can get out and run as far as he did and still be okay was priceless to me. Gennyral is fine. He might not be normal, but my horse was NEVER normal. I am still not sure if I am doing well enough to put him into work, but now I know that it is 100% MY CHOICE because physically he could be ridden again, at least at the walk.

This year I also started to learn about training a baby horse, something that I never thought I would want to do. It took me a while to realize how rewarding it can be to train something yourself. I was concerned that I would be one of those people who holds their horse back, and while I can still feel that way sometimes, I know that Phoenix is getting better with my training and that is pretty cool. I mean, when I started riding him forward was an issue and now we even have sideways and backwards.

I went through 2 bouts of injuries with Phoenix and thought about ending my lease. Instead, his owner and I worked out new terms that I am much happier with. I never thought I would lease a horse for more than 1 year. It will be a year next week and my lease is still going strong. For the first time in my leasing life I have no idea what my show goals will be next year. I suppose that is for the best because I came into 2009 with set goals that I had to change, so maybe it is good to still not know what I want.

This is also the first year in a long time where I have had several goals left undone. That was a hard pill to swallow for me, but I also feel like it has helped me grow for the future. I am still a total ribbon junkie (some things never change) but I do value scores more with Phoenix because of what they mean. I was like that with Gen, but sort of lost my way with X. When X died I thought that I was done with leasing. Phoenix has taught me that there are good horses out there.

From ribbons to tears the only thing I can say about 2009 is that it did not go the way I thought it would. And I think I am a better person because of that. I don’t know what 2010 will bring, but hopefully it will be good things and lots of ribbons!!

Happy New Year!