So this weekend Gen got his wennie cleaned (I know Jackie…I am going to get all sorts of crazy google search hits). I have to clean Gen’s sheath 4 times a year…twice as much as usual. And of course my horse is shy and wont let it all hang out so it is a real pain in the butt. And you should see the beans he gets…they are super gross! Not surprising though because my horse is dirtier than a normal horse. Anyway, both boarders were there and one was laughing at me as I put on my last full arm length glove and dove in all the way up my forearm. She went to her car and came back with this…and I had to share. I hope you think it is as cute as I do…
The Sheath Cleaning Song
Author Unknown
Sing it to the tune of “Hello Mother, Hello Father” from camp song
How’s it hangin’?
So much cleaner.
Aren’t you glad I
washed your wiener?
I’ll admit it’s
kinda creepy
that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.
It was sticky.
It was gunky.
It felt icky.
It smelled funky.
It was cruddy,
it was crusty–
when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.
After half an
hour of toilin’
and of squirtin’
baby oil in,
you’re as fresh there
as a daisy.
Either this means I love you or else I’m crazy!!!
That song is too funny! I’m SO glad I have a mare!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Most excellent song! Truly sums up all there is about sheath cleaning!!!
That’s hilarious. I love it. From now on we will sing it for each of the horses’ cleanings.
That is the best weenie song ever! It is all so true! I need to do my spring cleaning as well!
While I too find it hilarious, I think that it would make better sense (and also have greater impact) if the first verse were actually placed at the end.
Gross…but funny:-). I will have to pass that along to all my gelding owning friends. They will love that.
I have a sheath cleaning business “Beneath the Sheaths” and this song just cracked me up! I’ll probably be singing it while I work!
OMG, my wife wrote that song ages ago as an experiment for how long it would take to circulate around the Internet!
Let me tell you about my horse, he used to act quite mean,
but now he’s docile as a lamb, since I removed his “bean”!
All you horse lovers out there who have a gelding or a stud,
you’d better do some bean-picking, to help quiet his blood!
Use Ivory soap, and lather up with plenty of warm water,
and soon you’ll have your ol’ boy meltin’ just like butter!
You gotta do some searching, but when you finally do,
Just remove that “bean”,I guarantee: he’ll really thank you!
Now that you, and he, have begun this ritual thing,
Just roll up your sleeves, lather up and remove your rings,
Once in spring and once in fall should just about do it,
Cuz y’ain’t lived, til you and he have both been through it!
(Please excuse any errors or blunders, because when it starts a-raining “beans” sometimes it often thunders!!!)