My no good terrible awful day at the barn

So I know that some people read on the weekends (haha…thanks for the comments to let me know though), but I don’t get as many comments and such so I also know that a lot of people DON’T read on the weekends and that is why I waited to write about Thursday today. It is so embarrassing. Even visiting Gen after my trip to Texas did not cheer me up all the way…

So Thursday I rushed out of work so I could get to the barn and have time to ride. It gets dark pretty early around here still (by 5:00 it is DARK) so since i have to be at work so early I go get out relatively early. Hauling ass I made it to the barn a little after 4. I figured if I did a quick 20 minute tack up I could still get 30 minutes in. That would be plenty of time to go a little walk/trot/canter warm up and just work on staying in the ring. The horses were just starting to get brought in so being the nice person I am instead of tacking up in the aisle I figured I would grab Texas and go to his stall and groom and tack him up in there and try to stay out of every ones way. It is hard being at a new barn because there are different rules and ways of doing things then you are used to. There are also a lot of people you haven’t meet and you don’t know where anything is. I try to be super courteous right away so that when I do make mistakes people know that they are just that…mistakes.

So I brought my Appy to his stall and closed the bottom section of the dutch door. Texas, being the part draft that he is, normally gets the full door closed because he just plows right through everything. I figured he was supervised so he could handle just the bottom while I was in there with him. So I got to work and started grooming him right away. He was a bit of an idiot with the closed front blankets (I personally hate those, but I don’t like turtle necks either so that is a projection thing about me not liking things over my face) but was a good boy over all. It was nearly 4:30 when I closed him up and hurried to get his tack. The horses were all inside by this point so as I walked through the barn to get to the tack room I had the thought “I should bring him out to tack him” but as soon as I thought it I told myself it would take too much time to I needed to hurry and tack in the stall.

Texas is a Little “cold backed” as they call it at the barn. When you put the saddle on he dances around and when you first get on he gets very hallow in the back and takes a while to work out of it. I have not had a chance to work with him and the saddle as of late so as I marched back into his stall with the owners saddle I decided that I should close the top of the stall in case he lounged out when I was putting it on. So holding the saddle in one arm I leaned out the top half of the stall, reached around and closed the top door. Just as it snapped shut I thought, “OH SHIT”. But it was too late. Too late for what? Here is a picture of the inside of Texas’s stall. See if you can figure it out.

Did anyone spot my problem? Because once I tell you what is it you are going to go “DUH”. THERE ARE NO LATCHES ON THE INSIDE. I LOCKED MYSELF INTO TEXAS’S STALL!!!!!! It was much a stupid thing to do! I cannot believe I did it! I was so mad at myself. So now I am in the stall with a bridle over my arm, the helmet on my head and holding a saddle and girth. What on earth was I going to do. I didn’t have my cell phone on me (because that would have been too smart). I stood there staring at the Appy eating his hay and decided that I might as well tack up. At some point they will realize they don’t see me in the ring and come and check on me…right? So the whole damn reason I locked the stall in the first place was because he dances when the saddle is put on. Well wouldn’t you know it but he was an absolute SAINT and didn’t move it all.

After I get him all tacked up I start screaming. I didn’t want to scream help because both he and I were fine, so I settle on screaming “LET ME OUT”. So here I am screaming in the stall and of course no one heard. It is especially painful to write this because that house is RIGHT NEXT TO THE BARN. Like right there. So now 10 minutes have gone by and I am starting to get mad. I worked so hard to get there to be able to ride and now I am stuck in the damn stall. I start loving on Texas (who has not moved since the bridle was put on) and thinking what da hell am I going to do. I can’t get to the stall on either side and I have locked myself in. Reaching into my pocket for a tissue I feel something that makes me realize I am saved…CAR KEYS! The cars get parked right in front of the house and I am pretty sure I am in close enough range to set off my alarm from the stall. Yay! So I go and set off my alarm (this is 15 minutes into my adventure) and sure enough it works. The horses on either side of my spotted pony were spooking because of the noise and the shadows of lights coming in through the cracks (Texas didn’t seem bothered). I was saved!!

So I stood there listening to the car alarm going off smiling knowing that someone would be out to see me soon. And then the alarm went off. Someone must be coming I thought to myself. So I started to laugh and scooted up towards the front of the stall waiting to be let out. You know what? NO ONE CAME. So by now I am just mad. I am so pissed at myself that even the screaming isn’t making me feel better. I try the car alarm a few more times to no avail. I had been in the stall for over 25 minutes and figure that I am not getting out until the feed. Which would suck because I still wanted to see Gen still. So here I am in the stall having a pity party for myself holding a very bored 4 year old who has not so much as moved a toe since he was tacked and I am giving up hope.

After a few minutes of sulking that is when I hear it…the golf cart. SOMEONE IS COMING! I start yelling yet again knowing MB (who was bringing horses in before) must have forgotten something up at the top barn. I yell and yell and then the golf cart turns off and she calls back asking where I am. I tell her. And she laughs. A lot. So much so I was worried she wouldn’t be able to come to the stall to let me out. She does though and I am FREE! The lights in the main barn seem to bright. The air smells so sweet. I was so happy to be FREE. I drag Texas to the aisle to untack and put his blankets back on. So my terrible day is not over because as I am untacking I so yet another stupid thing.

I have the saddle in my hands and am walking down the aisle and trip. On my own two feet. So I stumble forward to catch myself and forget there is a step in the aisle and so I know I am going down. I am holding the owners saddle and I am about to eat it so I do what any good horse person would do. I turn and take the full impact of the fall to save the saddle. So down I go in the aisle first on my shoulder, the my arm and then the rest of me is down with a thud. My baby horse jumped sideways so fast I thought the cross ties were goners. Luckily the only good thing to happen that night was the fact they didn’t break and Texas didn’t run. So I got the breath knocked out of me and spend a few moments on the floor holding the saddle (which thankfully took no impact except when it hit me in the chin) thinking how I am officially pissed at this point. I put everything away including the pony and go off to see Genny.

As I get in the car covered in dust and bits of hay from my boots to my hair I figure I should call the owner to let he know I didn’t ride. Bad move. She laughs. Not just a chuckel. She can’t even talk she is laughing so hard. And her mom is asking whats wrong, so she tries to get the words out to tell her mom. And when her mom understands the two of them are laughing. Hard. So hard that all I hear is laughter and no words. At this point I am still not thinking this was a fun experiance so I am getting even more pissy. The owner finally gets back on the phone and informs me that her mom is ON THE FLOOR CRYING she is laughing so hard and that she is not very far behind. I say my good byes and am fuming by the time we hang up. I tried to shake it visiting Gen, but he could tell something was off about me.

By the time I got home I didn’t even want dinner, I just wanted to go to bed. I knew I had to shower though so I decided to treat myself to a nice hot bath. I love baths but don’t often have time so it was a real treat. It wasn’t until I was soaking in the bath that I started to laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh. I Locked myself in the stall for half an hour! How great is that?!?! I felt much better about it after cracking up. I suppose I can look on the bright side and at least say that Texas and I got some bonding time right! I hope I don’t have many more days like that but at least I got a good laugh out if it right. Even writing this had made me laugh out loud.